Fifteen

Summer winter summer winter hot cold hot cold the same always the same and always this room this window to look out of this wall to stare at this door to open or to leave shut this picture to contemplate about change where is change it's everywhere nowhere change is eternal and it's changeable and it's everchanging and it's all the same the same always this same old window the same old old old oak tree in front of it branches banging against the window especially in fall and nobody would be surprised really if all of a sudden one saw the hollow pale face of the child looking in through the window oh yes it would fit perfectly strange gothic scene dark dark dark yet always the same years on end and all those people and all those stories that one has to listen to because one day you've decided that listening is a good thing and it might make people care more or at least make you feel as if and you can't stand it anymore and you wish that it was you standing in front of that window although of course you know very well that there's actually nobody there but if you insist on seeing somebody or even a very pale version of yourself but they might think what you're talking about is your reflection but if they don't they might stop telling you things and finally leave you alone with this wall and this door oh take the horrible picture down will you and it will remain shut of course everything will change don't change all the same on my mind mind mind i don't.

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Fifteen
I'm all bottled up.
All I can do is hold my breath.
I want to burst.
There is no way.
You ask questions?
I don't care, I won't play.
I won't reply.
There's not enough air to stay.

I'm all caved in.
My skin is a waterfall,
oh, this is hell and
I am the seventh circle.
You want to know?
I cannot tell.
My tongue is an eel
and it writhes and it eats my teeth.
I cannot breathe.

I'm all shut out.
My legs twitch, my eyelids flutter.
I'm falling.
I'm the bowels of the earth and
the rock on a mountain top
and I topple down in mid-love.
You want to see?
Look, look, look.
Don't yet leave.




~ voice, acoustic guitar ~





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